I was going through some files on my computer – looking for that gold nugget of inspiration that I know I wrote sometime ago — sadly I havent found it yet. I believe now its akin to the holy grail or Noah’s ark. Something that is not meant to be found but that will be looked for and sought after for ages to come. Many histroy channel shows will be written about it in the end.
But instead I found this… So I decided to share it .. It’s not finished but was part of the outlines and journals for the follow up novel to Ancient Darkness – Even though Ancient Darkness is still being edited and finalized doesnt mean I’m not working on the next one..
Be fairly warned though this is just the rough sketch .. I copied it as it was from the file… No revision no editing — just the random story telling process at work.
It’s kind of scattered and broken but I plan on maybe using this further and developing it more.
I remember what is was like before. I knew who I was and what I was. Now I can only speculate as to what I really have become. It’s funny but we never really think about what we really believe. Oh we think we do. We tell others what we believe but in the darkest of nights there still lingers that sliver of doubt or question. The unseen stirring in our souls that wants to know for certain that what we believe is true and not just us believing what we are told to believe.
I can recall that day in my mind over and over. The dark skies and rolling storm clouds rushing in. The winds ripping through the trees and the rain pouring down in sheets relentlessly, beating angerly against the ground. The lightning flashing endlessly ,as it illuminated the blood drenched ground.
The battle field was silent except the thunder crashing over head. I watched in silent horror as my entire world had come crashing down. I stood by helplessly, a victim of circumstance, or so I thought. My family was destroyed, my home wasted and desicrated by strangers. I had nothing left.
I walked amongst the dead looking at the faces of friends and foes alike.I wished at that moment I could share in their fate as well. I couldnt even begin to comprehend what was actually happening to me. I just remember saying that there was no possible way that the creator possibly exist. I was never a man of strong faith, but I had faith never the less. At that moment my faith cracked and shattered. I would soon realize it wasnt my faith that had shattered ,but my preconceptions of what and who the creator was. I looked around and saw nothing but death and a dying world. Darkness and evil lurked in every shadow and in every heart. We had been taught that the greatest evil that existed was the one called the destroyer. He was the one that ruled in the darkness from the depths of the underwolrd, plotting the death and destruction of the world. At that moment I realized that he didnt have to plot or even rule the darkness it existed in everyone of us.
I feel to my knees when I came upon her body amongst the mud and water. Her beauty was still radiant, forever captured in death. The small child clutched in her arms wimpered in fear as he looked at me. I was speechless at first, the innocence in those eyes was profound. I reached out and gently lifted the child in my arms. He wrapped his blood stained arms around my neck with fear inspired strenght as he buried his face in my chest. I looked around but saw only darkness and death.
I had no where to take the child, let alone anyway to care for him. I couldnt even begin to explain why I survived the battle while his mother had not. The child never said a word as he whimpered in my arms. As I stood there I suddenly felt the presence of someone else. I turned and shield the child with my body as I drew my sword. Standing there in the ruins of what I once called home stood a lone figure cloaked in all white. I thought for a moment that it was someone I knew but I couldnt make out any of their features from beneath the hood of the cloak.
“lower your sword… I mean you no harm” the voice was soft almost a whisper, but it seemed to echo louder then the thunder and pouring rain. I lowered my sword some but remained ready.
“who are you?” my voice barely audible above the howling winds. The figure remained silent as he slowly turned lifting his arm to point to a portal shimmering behind him.
“Do you know what lies beyond this portal?” The voice whispered as I realized then the voice was actually in my head.
“No” I answered honestly.
At this point I had nothing left to loose and my own life meant very little to me.
“Beyond lies another life for you… a life of second chances”
Something in the voice this time made me pause for a second. It wasnt a trick but it was a choice, something inside told me as much.
“Second chances at what?” I noticed then that the rain had stopped I looked down to see the child was missing. I turned frantically to see if he was near. I looked at the figure in anger and suspicion. If this stranger had hurt the child in way or form I would make them pay with their very blood.
“Where’s the child?” I asked through clenched teeth. My anger was rising I could feel the power surging through me, it was a power that seemed born of rage and anger always seething and twisting just below the surface of my concious mind.
“Calm your self… the child is safe. He was sent away to a better place then this.” The cloaked figure motioned pointing at the field of dead bodies around us.
“You better explain yourself…” I couldnt believe a word at that moment my mind was suddenly confused and unfocused.
“Look here…” He pointed to the ground. I walked over and saw a body there lying face first in the mud. The armor looked familar and I bent down fear slowly rising in my mind. I paused as I turned the body over. I feel backwards in shock and merely sat there staring. The face of the corpse stared back at me vacantly. I looked at the figure next to me and then back at the corpse. The face that stared back at me was my own.
” I dont understand…” I whispered my anger and rage slowly seeping away.
” That has always been your problem… child. You never understood what was before you and what it was you had been called to do.” The figure knelt beside me a sense of peace washed over me as if I was being covered with warmth and love all at once.
“who are you?” I asked, but I knew the answer anyways.
” You know who am … I am the voice of the one that has always loved you, not because of what you did or didnt do but simply because the one loves all his children.”
“am I dead?” I whispered, and realized it was probably a dumb question.
“yes..but not for long, You have a choice.” The voice looked at me directly and all I could see was blinding light.
I couldnt believe it. I suddenly felt shame and guilt washing over me. I turned from his face and stood. Who was I to be given a second chance. I should be on my knees in worship and pleading for mercy, but instead I was standing here trying to hide and find anywhere to run to.
“even in death you are still the same… but then thats why He choose you. Some are ruled by their thoughts others by their hearts. The mind and the heart are in constant war with each other.For many this war tosses them back and forth like a boat on the ocean.” The voice sighed and I turned to look at him in amazement.
“I always believed that we were created exactly as we are and nothing we can do can change that.” I was shocked as I realized the boldness in my statment. I was questioning the voice of the creator one of his highest stand emissaries. The leader of the creators heavenly hosts and armies.
“You were.. but with two natures a fleshly one and a heavenly one. The choice as to which you would follow in life was yours to make. But that discussion is for another time. Right now I have a job for you.” The voice stood and walked over to me.
“The first and second born races have made their choices and the world has suffered for far to long. The third born races can not withstand them alone. A time of great darkness and evil had descended upon all of Shadora. You have been chosen to set things right. The voice and hope of the creator in the darkness. A blood knight washed in blood and empowered by the creator himself. You are death to those that crave evil and sustain themselves off of the suffering of innocence. You are deliverance and a breathe of life to those in need.” The voice looked at the portal and slowly walked toward it.
I stood there silently and didnt say a word at first. I had to many questions though to remain silent.
“Why does the creator need me to do the things that you should be doing… the things that you seem to be better equipped to do.” The boldness in my statement seemed to come from deep with in me. I expected to be destroyed right there and then. The voice would simply destroy me for my insolence and questions.
“It would seem that way.. but the creator in his wisdom knows that mortals would simply not understand and in time forget what he had done. He works through mortals instead empowering them and moving them in demonstrations of his love and power…his will is to rescue, redeem, deliver, help and restore…” The voice paused as if he was listening to another unheard voice.
“Many of my own had thought the same way as you have. In the end it ruined them causing them to rise up and try to become that which they could never become. If we, those who have seen the creator and been in his presence for countless ages were so weak, how much more do you think mortals would be?”